Wikinerd - and proud of it!
Derided by some and loathed by many for his outspoken views and general irreverence, Felize has nevertheless carved out a niche in what's left of a largely failed career. Once accused of being a serial Narcissist, this individual is characterised by the self-loathing that invariably accompanies brilliance.
Variously described as being a rake, wastrel, gadabout and rogue a coplet Cunt who slags off the Royal Pioneer Corps 23 Pioneer and regularly shoves Bananas up his arsse whilst grunting like a stuck pig for doing Pioneers Wrong he should swing by his nuts from a flag pole he is impaled on and if nobody know how to make one ask a fucking Pioneer!!! Felize - who suffers from terminal outrage - once appeared as a nude centrespread in Antique Jellymould Collector Magazine, where his flashing smile (and little else) endeared him to legions of ageing spinsters. Felize was awarded the Spirit of the WI trophy in 1990 by the Women's Institute - an accolade of which he is immensely proud.
His finest hour was persuading a very drunken Su Pollard to engage in a bout of naked Twister. Unfortunately, this was in the pre-digital age and therefore does not appear on YouTube. Attempts to reconstruct this event with a Pollard look-a-like have failed miserably.
Currently in hiding due to the Peterborough branch of Hezbollah sussing his IP address after disparaging remarks were made about believers of the Islamic faith. Constant petition signing, outstanding Council tax bills and parking fines has also earmarked this individual for special attention from the Security Service, various local councils and debt recovery agencies. Buckfast Felize is a former Crab and ex-TA Scaley.
The morning of the 7th of December will be forever remembered as a Day of Infamy, for it was on this bright, if somewhat misty morning - a little after 08:30, that something occurred that went largely unnoticed by the wider world. Buck Felize posted his 4000th edit on the ARRSEpedia. The birds continued to sing and life carried on, but the distant tolling of a church bell signalled that he was now irreparably mentally damaged and his marriage was reduced to twisted, smoking wreckage - a half-sunken carcass in an oily, polluted pool. A once proud, operable and fully functioning relationship reduced to a smouldering heap. He is now totally enslaved to ARRSE... forever and has no friends - except the imaginary ones... probably!
|Location - Pikey-ridden Euro cesspit|
|Date Joined - 2 July 2006|
|Star Sign - Leprechaun (Uranus rising)|
|Number of Posts - Way too many|
|Eyes - Two|
|Hair - Just|
|Sex - Sometimes|
|Sperm Count - 100 sp/ml.|
|Inside Leg - 30"|
|Blood Pressure - Daily Mail reader|