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Oldest Recorded Town in Britain, winner of the 'Most Pikey High Street in UK', home of 16 Air Assault Brigade and, of course, the famous 'Nick' - or (in service parlance) the Corrective Training Centre.

The locals have been kicking off with the army since 5AD when the local warrior king, Cunobelin, made it his home. The city was famously burnt down by Boudica after she got the hump with the Roman legionnaires and then besieged for eleven weeks by the Roundheads during the English Civil War.

The current garrison site is to the south of the town centre and is clustered around Abbey Fields. It contains the famous Cavalry Barracks that many old soldiers may remember from such exercises as Crusader 80, when they were used to house TA and reinforcements about to deploy via Harwich to Germany. Also used in the opening credits of Blackadder Goes Forth.

However, the MoD are opening a brand spanking new PFI built garrison (where the MOD own the land but not the buildings that everyone lives in) just south a bit form the current site, allowing the original to be redeveloped with the building of 2,600 'McMansions' for monied oafs and their chav offspring.

Many local slappers may been seen frequenting the nitespots of 'Colly' on a weekend looking for a good time from the soldiery, ending up with a bag of chips and a quick knee tremble on the way home.

Usual circuit on a Saturday night is Playhouse (good totty spot), Yates's, then onto the Hippodrome or Chicago's if you're a bit chavvy. High Street has usual barn like factories of intoxication that you'll find in any other UK town.

See Also Colchester Condom