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Boris Johnson

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So Who He?

Foppish, blond-haired Old Etonian writer, via Oxbridge and therefore brave warlock winner (against the odds) of the bitter fight up through the hellish barricades of British society, Conservative politician (no...didn't see that one coming...) and broadcaster - and possibly the only male politician in the UK today that's allegedly popular. Derided by his opponents as being a bumbling buffoon who has never so much as run a send-out for chips, Boris and dad's media empire tell us he's shrewd, astute and erudite - just the very man for those whose lust for blonds has no limit. He scores highly on the Have I Got News For You guest presenter scale. Given the standard, this is hardly qualification for anything beyond taking over Fern Britton's diet tips. <the above was written by a bitter twisted lefty so reader beware>

Splitting Opinions

Often correctly quoted when putting his foot in it, Boris merely speaks out of his gilded, self-obsessed, moneyed, fuck-you-peasant and fuck-your-missus-too little surburban Toffs' Club mind - a rare trait in today's political climate and frankly one to be admired especially as a) you were thinking just that thing a minute earlier and b) he's usually right if politically incorrect.

He famously upset the denizens of Liverpool when he (correctly) 'claimed that the inhabitants of Ken Bigley's home city of Liverpool were wallowing in a "vicarious victimhood"; that many Scousers had a "deeply unattractive psyche"; and that they refused to accept responsibility for "drunken fans at the back of the crowd who mindlessly tried to fight their way into the ground" during the Hillsborough disaster. However, the Scousers eventually forgot about him when the next giros arrived and gave him his wheels back.

Bon Mots R Us

Boris went one-on-one with the Duke of Edinburgh when he described the natives of Papua New Guinea as '... a bunch of grass-skirted jungle bunnies with a taste for alcohol (kindred spirirts eh Bozzer?) and white missionaries.' Again he was forgiven and let out of the cooking pot.

Sticking it to the Lefties

The local elections of 2008 saw Boris sweep to victory in the London Mayoral elections - drubbing his opponent Ken Livingstone by a significant margin of voters from Kingston and Croydon, and shutting his detractors up hopefully. Do you live in London? Johnson mocked "Supertone" (Tony Blair) for his brief visits to world trouble spots, bringing peace to the world while the UK deteriorated; Blair would arrive as "the tribal warriors will all break out in watermelon smiles to see the big white chief", just as "it is said the Queen has come to love the Commonwealth, partly because it supplies her with regular cheering crowds of flag-waving piccaninnies".

Competent? Shurelly shum mishtake

Bizarrely, although there has been the odd hiccup ... BoJo has been much less of a disaster area than anyone envisaged. Yes there has been the odd alleged bias sacking of the Mets Chief Constable (although frankly the cnut had it coming) and he did try to drown himself while fishing rubbish out of a London river and even had to pull down his balcony shed but his tenure so far has been pretty gaffe free ... much to the annoyance of the leftie press.

Knight on a Shining Bicycle

Boris may be overly privileged but he does at least believe in Noblesse oblige and on seeing a woman beset by a bunch of chavettes .. he got stuck in to protect the damsel. Would he still have done it if he realized she was a leftie? Probably but then Boris is Boris and not beholden to any silly mores that a politically correct lefty media would like to inflict on him.

Story to be found here

However calm things seem right now for BoJo, you know that Boris has more 'Bon Mots' just waiting to ambush him ... and thats why we love him.