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Barry Boys

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Clown's Car

A sub-section of the chav culture that exists in 21st century Britain.

Barry Boys, or simply Barries are spotty turds who pointlessly modify their cars for no significant gain, either performance or aesthetic. They usually choose something like a Vauxhall Nova or other car that has absolutely no sporting pedigree, as they are unable to afford the insurance on a proper car. By insuring their shopping trollies without declaring the modifications they are usually driving around illegally.

Typical Barry "train of thought":

Buy a slow standard car (perfectly ok for everyday use) for about £3000. Throw a bodykit at it, a shed load of ICE, crazy large wheels, more neon than Las Vegas, loads of exhaust pipes and a ridiculous paint job. I've probably just blown over £10000 but I now have my beast finished. The resulting vehicle is going to stick out like a sore thumb and get laughed at. Its horrible to drive because it bottoms out, the wheels limit the lock, the handling is shafted and people keep laughing at me. I can't go on a track day because its too slow, bottoms out , the wheels limit the lock so it won't go round the hairpins, oh yeah and the marshalls are laughing at me. Its a bitch to get through an MOT because when it goes onto the ramps it bottoms out, the tester can't get it onto full lock, the number plate has no illumination apart from neon, oh yeah and all the mechanics are laughing at me. I keep getting stopped by the police for driving an unroadworthy due to the car bottoming out, all the things that meant it just failed its MOT, oh yeah and they keep laughing at me.

So I decide to sell the car on eBay (for a mate who doesn't have internet access you know) believing I will get my money back. My reserve is set at £9000 and I have pointed out the fact that this car is unique and will turn heads everywhere (Ok they were laughing at me). There are no bids and my car is on barryboys being ripped apart (they strangely are laughing at me) so I sign up to defend it. Unfortunately my grasp of the English language lets me down so I resort to threatening everyone and calling them gay. They laugh at me. Eventually I sell the car for scrap and never recover from the financial or emotional damage and get a job in Halfords.